Here we have a follow up to my previous post about bringing down that Great Wall of China. As mentioned, we are all walking around, trying so hard to protect our selves. Why? Because we believe that we are fragile beings that need to be guarded. Think about it, from being children, our parents are constantly trying to protect us from harm. We are taught to avoid things that could potentially hurt us and have the words ‘be careful’ drilled into every sense of our being.
Of course, we need to have caution in life when it comes to physical danger such as crossing a busy road or walking down a dark alley, however, we often get our wires crossed, for what IS physical danger and what we PERCEIVE as danger. For example, when crossing a busy road, it is necessary to act from a place of caution; if you just step out into the road, there is a chance you could be hit by a car and killed or seriously injured. However, this same level of caution does not need to be carried into our relationships, careers, finances or emotions.
The things is, we do act toward these things as though they are posing physical danger to us. For example, in relationships we act with caution by guarding ourself off from the other person – often in fear of hurt or rejection. But realistically, hurt or rejection is not going to kill us or impend physical danger to our lives. So why do we approach it as though it is? I think it comes from a belief that if we do get hurt or rejected, we fear we will not be able to handle it. Which, in our minds poses physical threat. We carry this mindset with us through all walks of life. A commonly used phrase in England is “I wouldn’t be able to cope if ________”. As in “I wouldn’t be able to cope if my boyfriend split up with me right now” or “I wouldn’t be able to cope if I got my hopes up about this job and didn’t get it” I will admit, I am guilty of using this phrase far too much too!
We play ourselves down as being weak, fragile beings with an inability to deal with things, but in reality, this could not be further from the truth. The human being actually has an astounding ability to handle/cope with things. Why? Because I believe that is what we came here to do. Take a moment to think about the first time you ever got your heart broken. You thought you was never going to get over this person, right? But my guess is that you did and probably came off better for it – with a new understanding of relationships and what you wanted from your next boyfriend/girlfriend. Why? Because that is how us humans learn. We get shaken; flipped upside down; turned around and in the end we wind up stronger and wiser.
This is something that is natural to us. We grieve; we process and then we move on with a clearer understanding. The only time when this does not happen is when we allow ourselves to stay stuck in the past and do not accept what is in our present. However, this is something which we have complete control over.
So, the whole point of this post is to remind you that you are not fragile. You are not easily broken. So stop living your life with caution! Stop living your life in fear that you might get hurt. By following that rule alone, you are subjecting yourself to a life of stagnation and mediocrity and THAT is something to be fearful of! Put yourself out there; allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to do. Most importantly, remember that whatever comes back to you – a lesson or a blessing – you WILL be able to handle it.