I have noticed in today’s society that behaving like you are ‘heartless’ is meant to be a good thing. I have even been guilty of this myself. The thing is, heartlessness is all one big lie, it could be a well practiced lie, but never the less, still a LIE. As long as we are all human; we are all capable to experience a full spectrum of emotions; male or female; white or black; poor or rich.
But it seems that many of us are so desperately trying to run away from this.
I feel as though ‘heartlessness’ stems from an avoidance of what we perceive as ‘bad’ emotions. It is simply a coping mechanism for that that people are trying to not to escape from such as fear, sadness, anger etc. For me, I used to pretend that I was heartless when it came to guys. I’d play it so cool and then when things didn’t work out, I’d act like I wasn’t bothered and didn’t have time for relationships anyway. Really, this was just a front covering up my fear of rejection and fear of vulnerability.
The thing is, the more we tell this lie, the more practiced we are in it. We never become truly heartless but we do become numb. This numbness does not just hold space in the ‘bad’ emotions, it also holds them in the ‘good’. For example, because I was so used to acting numb in relationships; I never truly showed myself to the guys that I was dating. I surrounded myself with something that resembled the Great Wall of China and never really let anybody in. This meant that for a long time I missed out on many opportunities for a great relationship, all because I wasn’t prepared to bring my walls down and show my true self to another human being.
When I noticed this pattern, I decided to CHANGE. I stopped fearing rejection and started embracing my true ooey gooey, lovey dove self and guess what…. FINALLY I started attracting relationships that meant something. Yes, at times I got hurt, but what helped me to get over that was the fact that I knew that I had given it my all. I held faith that if I had been totally myself and the relationship didn’t work out, then it obviously wasn’t meant to be.
So, my message for you today, is bring down that Great Wall of China. Stop numbing yourself with the lie that you do not feel and grab every emotion with both hands. Not just in relationships, but with every aspect in life. Have faith; be transparent; be true; and embrace that big old heart of yours. You will not regret it!