“If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anybody else to love you?”
Everybody is out there trying to find that true love. To some it comes easy, to others it feels virtually impossible. But what is the difference? What is the difference between those that find true connection almost instantly and those that are just longing for a partner?
Well… I think it has a lot to do with self-love.
It is usually those with the deepest lack of self love that find themselves with the poorest love lives whether that is being involved in an unhealthy relationship or just single and desperately seeking companionship (and let me tell you, I know from personal experience).
It seems cruel, because those that do not love themselves are those that so desperately need to be loved. But it doesn’t work like that. Why?
Firstly, because what you are, what you feel and what you think is what you attract. This is why people which frequently have negative thoughts about themselves will attract people into their lives which are of a ‘vibrational’ match to them. They could attract an unhealthy relationship which isn’t based on true love, but based on possessiveness, ego, dependency etc OR they could attract literally no one. As in sat on the shelf, wondering why nobody will love them – WHEN THEY WON’T EVEN LOVE THEMSELVES!!
All the while, this principal of what you are is what you attract works just as well for a person with a true love for themselves. If you are emanating in self-love, you’re going to attract a partner that feels the same – within their own self and about you! Why? Well for a start, you won’t be attracting people from a place of desperation or neediness. You’ll be attracting them from a place of I AM AMAZING, I can’t wait to meet another person who is amazing like me! From this place, there will be no need to settle for a relationship that is unhealthy or just doesn’t feel right, because you know you will be completely fine on your own, knowing that you are deserving of the next great thing around the corner.
There’s something super attractive about a person that is just truly comfortable in their own skin. When a person loves themself, love just beams out of them in every way. They are confident, kind, happy, loving and just generally a pleasure to be around. A lot of people with the negative self talk are hoping that they will be saved by a person like this. The thing is, when people are not in a place of self love, they will subconsciously reject this type of person. This could be by instantly thinking “I’m not good enough” and just not talking to this person because obviously they won’t be interested. Actually they are just rejecting themselves before they have even been rejected. OR they could just talk down about this person – they are ‘too happy’, ‘too confident’ or ‘too’ something. If you reject someone first, you can’t be rejected, hey, hey, hey.
Basically, it leaves these people lacking in self love in a vicious cycle, of hopping from loneliness to unhealthy relationship, with no idea why the world is being so cruel to them. Yet, the solution is so simple……
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. If you’re single and thinking, why does nobody like me? Just take a look at if you’re liking yourself first. If you’re in a relationship and you know something is not right, have a think about what might not be right in your own self. If you noticed something you didn’t like, change it! Make a conscious effort to love yourself more. How to love yourself is a whole other blog post, which I am going to be posting up pretty soon but there is tonnes of info in the form of blogs, books and youtube videos which can help. So go ahead, love yourself first and watch the magic happen.